Lettie Goes Travelling

When I look back at my travels over the last few years, one thing really stands out — most of them I have taken alone.

Some have been independently planned trips, one was an organised solo holiday and others have involved friends or family. But the common denominator is that over time I’ve become very comfortable in my own company.

And I appreciate more and more that not everyone feels that way.

I definitely know the feeling that the loneliest place to be can be in a crowded room — I’ve experienced that myself.

Probably most acutely after my separation, when being surrounded by couples somehow made me feel inadequate, as if my life was suddenly missing a key ingredient. At the time, it felt as though everyone else had life sorted out and I was the odd one out.

Now I know that wasn’t true. But it took a while to believe it.

When life shifts and you go from being part of a unit of two to navigating life as a unit of one — whether through choice or circumstance — it’s huge.

And suddenly even very ordinary things can start to feel unfamiliar.

Travel seems to magnify that feeling.

Instantly you are navigating booking systems, logistics, finances… and that’s before you’ve even reached the airport. Then there’s actually being away from home, feeling safe somewhere unfamiliar, walking into restaurants on your own or sitting at a table for one.

I don’t think people should underestimate how much courage it can sometimes take to order yourself a decent glass of wine and quietly watch the sun setting over a bay whilst everyone around you appears to be coupled up and living their perfect lives.

I’ve also had moments — usually over long bank holiday weekends — where I’ve convinced myself I needed to get out of the house because surely everyone else was out having a fabulous time.

So I’d drive somewhere random trying to create a day out for myself… only to arrive and think:

“What on earth am I doing here?”

And sometimes I’d simply turn round and drive home again.

But over time I’ve realised that being on your own and feeling lonely are not always the same thing.

If you are somewhere you genuinely want to be, doing something that matters to you, there can actually be a huge sense of peace in your own company.

That doesn’t mean there won’t occasionally be sadness too. Life is rarely that black and white. Sometimes there is still a bittersweetness to things — but that shouldn’t stop us experiencing life fully.

For some people, being comfortable on their own comes naturally. For others it’s something that has to be learned slowly, gently and over time.

But confidence often grows quietly.

One small experience at a time.

Until eventually you realise you’ve become the person reaching out to reassure someone else who looks a little lost